No. 74

I Will Survive - Cake (1996) Video - I am hesitant to include covers on the list, but some credit is in order for discovering that Gloria Gaynor's 1978 hit should've had an F-bomb. Seriously, this is a cover, but it's not just a reproduction, it changes gender, tone, and style. This is a masterpiece and my favorite song by one of my favorite bands. Even if you know the song, please check out the video - John McCrea working as a meter maid gives a pathetic, sarcastic slant to the song. Maybe he'll survive, but he definitely won't thrive, hence the F-bomb.

No. 75

Maggie May - Rod Stewart & the Faces (1971) Video - Rod Stewart has produced a TON of music, a lot of it poor, but the high points are gold. In my opinion, this is the best, but Reason to Believe, Do Ya Think I'm Sexy, Stay With Me, You Wear It Well, Rhythm of My Heart, You're In My Heart, and a cover of Badfinger's Day After Day are all favorites of mine. How many artists have 8 songs that I love?

For all the gay rumors that have followed his career, he's done about everything to disprove them. He was captain of the soccer team in high school and still plays in a senior soccer league. Additionally, he's dated or married an impressive lineup (Britt Ekland - Bond girl in Man With the Golden Gun, actress Alana Stewart, model Kelly Emberg, model Rachel Hunter, and in 2007 model Penny Lancaster-Stewart. Rod the Mod's still got it.

No. 76

These Thousand Hills - Third Day (2000) Video - A group that probably gets overlooked by mainstream music because they're Christian, Third Day is easily my favorite Christian group of all-time. There are several of their songs that could be in this spot, Thief, Consuming Fire to name a couple, but I like this underrated song as the only Christian entry on the list.

No. 77

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (1991) Video - "Load up on guns and bring your friends" is how the Generation X anthem begins. This song will always represent rebellion in my mind because there's no way your parents were ok with this music. Even in '98, this was still the first song played at the bowling alley where all the kids congregated.

There are so many great stories about how this song came into existence, but I'll just share a couple. Kurt Cobain shared the opening chord with the band, which Krist Novoselic openly mocked, so Cobain made them play that chord for a solid 90 minutes until it turned into something. That's the kind of person Cobain was.

The title was given by Cobain's friend, punk rocker Kathleen Hanna, who wrote 'Kurt smells like teen spirit' - the brand of deodorant worn by his girlfriend. He interpreted this to have revolutionary meaning and used it as the song's title. He never realized that it was a deodorant brand until months after the single was released. The song was supposed to sound like the Pixies, a band Cobain admired greatly.

No. 78

Reelin' In The Years - Steely Dan* (1972) Video - Jimmy Page calls this the greatest guitar riff of all-time. That's high praise. The video I linked is more for the comedic value than anything, a young Bill Cosby introducing the group makes me laugh. Steely Dan, which (honestly) was named after a sex toy in a famous painting, still tours and retains a cult following. This song teased me for 5 years until Napster allowed me to learn the artist's name and download it.

No. 79

Rooster - Alice In Chains (1993) Video - Written as an homage to Jerry Cantrell's estranged father, Rooster actually helped to heal the rift. His father was a member of the 101st Airborne in Vietnam. They wore bald eagle patches on their shoulders, but the Vietnamese have no word for eagle, so the closest was the word for chicken or rooster. I imagine a romanticized view a young child might have of his father in battle as I listen to the lyrics.

In 2007, Cantrell's father joined him on-stage for a live performance of the song. The music video led his father to do a 45-minute interview talking about his experiences in Vietnam, which helped them to reconnect. Music that heals:

"Ain't found a way to kill me yet, eyes burn with stinging sweat, seems every path leads me to nowhere. Wife and kids, household pet, army green was no safe bet, the bullets scream to me from somewhere.

Here they come to snuff the rooster, aw yeah, yeah here come the rooster, you know he ain't gonna die.

Walkin' tall machine gun man, they spit on me in my homeland. Gloria sent me pictures of my boy. Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death, my buddy's breathin' his dyin' breath, oh God please won't you help me make it through?"

No. 80

Big Empty - Stone Temple Pilots (1994) Video - As the sole STP entry on the list, it might seem odd that I selected one of their softer hits, but I much prefer the hard-soft variance (insert joke here) to the hard rock sound of Sex Type Thing or even Plush, though those two were very close to making the Top 100.

To sum up Early Alternative, you could take this, Pearl Jam's Jeremy, Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, Radiohead's Creep, Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun, throw in some R.E.M. and Smashing Pumpkins and you'd have done a pretty decent job. Throw in my No. 79 song and you'd have done an awesome job (see what I did there, building suspense).

No. 81

Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones (1971) - Don't confuse this song for the inferior version they produced in 1995. I'm unable to find the original on YouTube. Often covered, the Alicia Keys Unplugged version w/Adam Levine (Maroon 5) changes it significantly, but is outstanding (Video). Fans love to theorize as to its origins, but according to Mick Jagger, the story was a fabrication but the influences were undoubtedly an amalgam of real-world emotions.

"Childhood living is easy to do, the things you wanted, I bought them for you. Graceless lady, you know who I am, you know I can't let you slide through my hands. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away.

I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain. Now you decided to show me the same. No sweeping exits or off-stage lines could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind. Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away.

I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie. I have my freedom, but I don't have much time. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried. Let's do some living after we die."

No. 82

I'll Be There - Jackson Five (1970) Video - This was a #1 hit for both the Jackson Five and Mariah Carey in 1992. At the time it was the most successful Motown record in the U.S.

No. 83

If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow (1996) Video - One of the sexier videos on the list, featuring Crow in a museum, tiny outfits, and trippy contact lenses. Probably one of 3 artists on the list I'd go out with (insert gay joke here).

No. 84

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz (1993) Video - If this were a list of the best guitar riffs, this is easily top-1o. Seriously, this is a riff in the vein of Hendrix, Richards, Page, and Clapton. In fact, I thought it was Hendrix when I first heard it. The theory that I believe about it's meaning is that it's written from Jesus' point of view. Before you ridicule, read:

"I was born long ago, I am the chosen I'm the one. I have come to save the day and I won't leave until I'm done. So that's why you've got to try, you got to breathe and have some fun, though I'm not paid I play this game, and I won't stop until I'm done. But what I really want to know is, are you gonna go my way?....I don't know why we always cry. This we must leave and get undone. We must engage and rearrange and turn this planet back to one."

Yeah, so I know what I'm singing for special music next week!

No. 85

Nightrain - Guns n' Roses (1987) Video - Short of seeing Black Sabbath in their heyday or Rage Against the Machine in Mexico City, I can't imagine a wilder mosh pit than early Guns n' Roses. This is one of the wildest, a tribute to an infamous brand of California Red Wine, Night Train Express, which was extremely popular with the band during their early (and poor) days because of its low price and high alcohol content. And that's all you need to know about that.

No. 86

Cruisin' - Smokey Robinson (1979) Video - This is one of those songs that I can't ever remember not knowing. At some point I must've heard it for the first time, but it seems as though I've always known it. While a song like American Pie - Don McLean uses its 7 minutes to describe as many events as possible with confusing allegories and multiple interpretations, Cruisin' uses 4 minutes to describe a feeling to which every American boy can relate. Cruisin' with your girl, not a care in the world, "inch by inch we get closer and closer."

No. 87

We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions - Queen (1977) Video - From the 2nd I heard the entire version (Mighty Ducks closing credits) rather than just the chant from nighttime San Antonio Spurs broadcasts that somehow found their way to Eureka, Kansas, I loved this song. I didn't know Freddy Mercury was incredibly gay, I didn't even know what gay was. I just knew that this song rocked.

It served as the anthem for the 1994 World Cup and charted in France in 1998 when they won the World Cup, topping out at #10. Some other things you didn't know - Freddy Mercury was born in Zanzibar, went to school in India, and only acknowledged he had AIDS the day before his death. Even though you know the song, check out the video to see Borat playing the piano in awesome shorts.

No. 88

Hotel California - The Eagles (1977) Video - The defining Eagles single and one of the best known rock songs of all-time probably would be in my top ten favorite songs had I not played it so much that I'm actually tired of it. I'm going to trust that anyone reading a music blog has heard the song or is a martian wondering what music is and skip the musical review. It's awe-inspiring to say the least. Because it got play on country stations, I got to listen to it at a much earlier age than most other songs on the list.

There are many marijuana-fueled blogs about the true meaning of the song, most of which involve some sort of tie-in with satanic rituals or cults. In my opinion, these are 100% false, with the exception of the very visible satanistic tenets of Hollywood and the music business (I'm not a preacher, I'm just sayin'). Essentially, the Eagles had just arrived in Southern California which seemed very appealing at first, seductive even, and they felt themselves getting trapped into a life that didn't produce happiness, but looked attractive on the surface. That's the whole song right there. Although I do drive by a Hotel California every day in Oakland that was owned by the church of Satan with which Don Henley was affiliated.............

No. 89

All Right Now - Free (1970) Video - While a lot of the songs on my list have many possible interpretations, multiple layers, and social symbolism, Free's All Right Now is a song about hooking up and ascertaining the other's intentions. That's it and that's all. Check out both verses:

"There she stood in the street, smiling from her head to her feet. I said, hey, what is this? Now baby, maybe she's in need of a kiss. I said, hey what's your name baby? Maybe we can see things the same. Now don't you wait or hesitate, let's move before they raise the parking rent.

I took her home to my place, watching every move on her face. She said, Look, what's your game baby, are you trying to put me in shame? I said, slow, don't go so fast. Don't you think that love can last? She said, love, Lord above, now you're trying to trick me in love?"

Lead singer Paul Rodgers' penned the lyrics and would go on to do the same for his next group's (Bad Company) Feel Like Makin' Love, where you can see a pattern emerging. Heavy riff, hookin' up. He would later step in to lead Queen after the death of Freddy Mercury. This won't make many Rolling Stones or VH1 most influential lists, but I like it, a lot.

No. 90

Get Together - The Youngbloods (1967) Video - A group you're probably not familiar with, but a song you'll most definitely recognize, Get Together was their only Top 40 hit. It's a song of peace and inclusion, perfectly befitting 1967's Summer of Love.

"Love is but the song we sing, fear's the way we die. You can make the mountains ring, or make the angels cry. Know the dove is on the wing, and you need not know why. C'mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now."

No. 91

Open Arms - Journey (1982)* Video - Unbelievably sappy, but undeniably awesome, Open Arms was not the type of song Journey was recording in 1982. The majority of the band was against it, but lead singer Steve Perry pushed it through. When it was finally performed live, the crowd went bananas and the other band members were sold.

"Lying beside you, here in the dark. Feeling your heart beat with mine. Softly you whisper, you're so sincere. How could our love be so blind? We sailed on together. We drifted apart and here you are by my side. So now I come to you with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say. So here I am with open arms, hoping you see what your love means to me, open arms."

No. 92

Take It To The Limit - The Eagles (1975) - When the subject of the greatest bands of all-time comes up, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd usually come up. They all obviously belong in the discussion, but there's a 5th entry that many omit. Whether it's because they weren't ever very controversial or that they didn't change the way music was played is irrelevant. The fact that shouldn't be ignored is the sheer volume of awesome music that the Eagles produced from 1971-1980.

Take It To The Limit is a song that gets lost in the shuffle of all the great tracks the Eagles laid down, but in my opinion, it's one of the 3 best. The thing that made the Eagles great was that there were 4 virtuosos in the group. Take It To The Limit was sung by bassist Randy Meisner, the first A-side sung by neither Don Henley nor Glenn Frey, though Joe Walsh would later sing lead on several songs. There didn't seem to be any drop-off in the musical quality, regardless of who was leading. Never has there existed a better collection of multi-talented musicians, not even the Beatles.

Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings made a very respectable cover in 1983 (Video).

"All alone at the end of the evening, all the bright lights have faded to blue. I was thinking about a woman who might have loved me and I never knew. You know I've always been a dreamer (spent my life running around) and it's so hard to change (can't seem to settle down) but the dreams I've seen lately keep on turning out and burning out and turning out the same. So put me on a highway and show me a sign and take it to the limit one more time. You can spend all your time making money, you can spend all your love making time, if it all fell to pieces tomorrow, would you still be mine?

No. 93

Down By The River - Neil Young (1969) Video - The story of a man catching his woman cheating on him, meets her by the river and shoots her, Neil Young wrote this while nursing 103-degree fever in the California desert. The song runs as short as 4 minutes and as long as 31 minutes live. The version I fell in love with ran about 9 minutes, but never seems to lag.

Probably my favorite songwriter of all-time, probably only equaled by Dylan, Neil Young makes up for his lack of vocal prowess (Neil Patrick Harris on How I Met Your Mother said it best, "I can't hear you talking with this old woman singing") by penning some of the most beautiful and poignant songs in rock history.

Having served as a major influence for many of today's top rock artists, Young has managed to stay in the public eye by performing intermittently with Dave Matthews Band and Pearl Jam (who refer to him as Uncle Neil). Additionally, he's been a proponent for alternative fuels, reengineering his 1959 Lincoln Continental to get 100 mpg (Letterman).

No. 94

The Distance - Cake (1996) Video - The eponymous single off their second album, Comfort Eagle, "The Distance" dominated alternative radio in 1996. It was written by guitarist Greg Brown, who left the group in 1998. John McCrea's dry, talk-sing style makes it sound as though he's mocking the previous artists such as their covers of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" and Black Sabbath's "War Pigs." I distinctly remember listening to the alternative station late at night so low that my parents couldn't hear it when "The Distance" came on. I remember thinking, this is something very different from anything I've heard before. I think I like this. And I always have.

The Sacramento-based group has since left 2 labels and formed their own, building a studio powered solely by solar panels, so that their next album, which coincidentally has been delayed 2 years, will be exclusively recorded with solar energy.

No. 95

All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix (1968) Video - This is a very difficult song to rank because it's Bob Dylan's song. He deserves most of the credit, but this is my list of favorite songs and I simply enjoy the Hendrix version more. U2 and Dave Matthews Band have both recorded this on live albums. My guilt for ranking the cover ahead of the original was largely overcome by this Bob Dylan quote, "It overwhelmed me, really. He had such talent, he could find things inside a song and vigorously develop them. He probably improved upon it by the spaces he was using. I like Jimi Hendrix's record of this and ever since he died I've been doing it that way....Strange how when I sing it, I always feel it's a tribute to him in some kind of way."

Nobody seems to really know what the song is about. Dylan was in the midst of expanding his family, with children born in 1966 & 1967, and he had a renewed interest in the Bible, which was reflected in his music. There exists some similarity to the passages of Isaiah 21:5-9, but there's also a Watchtower Building in Brooklyn that is said to have been the influence for the song. Any microcosmic examination of the lyrics will, as in most Dylan songs, result in the reviewer either going insane or sounding really stoned, so let's accept it for what it is, an awesome rock 'n roll record.

No. 96

Smoky Mountain Rain - Ronnie Milsap (1980) Video - Ray Charles once said that he loved country music because of the stories it told. Ronnie Milsap, also blind, lists Ray Charles as one of his earliest influences. It might be more apt to say that Ronnie Milsap influenced Ray Charles as he wrote the Ray Charles hit Let's Go Get Stoned. Music gave Milsap solace as his vision rapidly deteriorated throughout his adolescence. Lost love with a burning desire to reconnect is the subject of this tune that takes me back to my childhood in Kansas. Hardly the twangy sound for which country music has become synonymous, the rock and pop influences are very evident in his music. In fact, Milsap's first gig was playing in J.J. Cale's band.

J.J. Cale is the artist who influenced the artists you love. Eric Clapton, Neil Young, Tom Petty. Clapton took Cale's After Midnight (Video) and Cocaine (Video) and made them hits. Lynyrd Skynyrd took They Call Me The Breeze (Video) and I Got The Same Old Blues (Video) . With this level of mentorship, one can understand how Ronnie Milsap's style surpassed the same 'ol country and made him a gigantic crossover success. Smoky Mountain Rain was the pinnacle of that success.

No. 97

Say It Ain't So - Weezer (1995)* Video - Rivers Cuomo came home one afternoon in high school to find a bottle of beer in his fridge. Believing that his father and mother's marriage had ended because his father was an alcoholic, he now feared for his mother and stepfather's marriage. "Say it ain't sooooooo, your drug is a heartbreaker......Dear Daddy, I write you in spite of fears of silence. You cleaned up, found Jesus, things are good also I hear. This bottle of Stevens awakens ancient feelings, like father, step-father, this song is drowning in the blood!" An excellent live show, if not for Rivers Cuomo's egotism, I also learned that Ric Ocasek (Lead singer for The Cars and undeservedly married to supermodel Paulina Porizkova) produced this album (The Blue Album, their debut). The song rocks, but I can't tell you in words what music will tell you in feelings. If you don't love it, then you haven't felt it.

No. 98

Take Me To The River - Al Green (1974) Video - Off the Al Green Explores Your Mind album, an album name I'm convinced was chosen under the influence of many, many hallucinogens, Al Green lets out his most primal screams on Take Me To The River. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, this passes the test. Syl Johnson and Talking Heads (Video) both recorded hit covers. Let's Stay Together has proven to be his most enduring hit, probably because of its aphrodisiac qualities, but for my money this is the ultimate Al Green. Unfortunately, Reverand Al Green no longer performs the song as he considers it un-Christian.

No. 99

Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan (1965) - A song covered by The Stones (Video) and Hendrix that is probably way too low on the list, the lyrics alone place it among the greatest artistic achievements of the 20th Century,

"Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?"

A generation that couldn't be told anything was finding out that there was more to life than sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll. This was 1965. The worst was yet to come.

No. 100

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins (1995) Video - The lead single off their impressive and depressive double album Mellon Collie & the

Infinite Sadness and their 1st US Top 40 hit. While most Pumpkins songs seem to hint at but ultimately hold back their aggression, Bullet With Butterfly

Wings rocks hard! At no other point in their career did you feel as though every ounce of anger

in Billy Corgan's body was being projectile vomited at the microphone.

101. What She's Doing Now - Garth Brooks (1992) - After creating my top 100, I discovered a rather serious omission well up the list,

hence knocking everything back one notch. What She's Doing Now was the 3rd single off Garth

Brooks' 3rd Album, Ropin' the Wind. It's a tale about a former lover that won't leave his minds.

What's she's doing now is tearing him apart. It's an experience everyone has gone through and

although it's not one of his best known, it's one of his best.

My Top 100 Songs

Recently, as I had excess time on my hands, I decided that I would rank my Top 100 songs of all-time. These are all songs, regardless of genre, but as I'm primarily a rock fan, they're primarily rock songs. My plan is to release 1 song per day through August 1st (my wedding day), but as I'm already a few behind, we'll do some catching up in the beginning. I'll just add a line a day to this posting instead of putting up a new blog every day 'cause who has time for that? This guy!

My process started with 10,000+ songs that I rated from 1-5 stars. Using a bell curve, there were a lot fewer 5's than there are 3's or 4's so I ended up with 527 (5)-stars. From there, I used a series of elimination techniques to arrive at a seemingly uncuttable list of 124 songs that I LOVE! From there, I began picking groups of 10-20 that seemed to be at a similar level. Now, I'm not so egocentric that I think you actually care about my list (oh really?), but as my tastes are varied (particularly by era), so I'd recommend you read the list just to be reminded of old songs you used to love, or awesome songs that you've never heard. If you see a song you don't know, YouTube it, you'll thank me 3 out of 4 times. An (*) denotes that I've heard the band play the song live. The last 24 songs did not make the cut and are as follows:

Dream On - Aerosmith (1973) Video - This might be the defining "Aerosmith" single and it was their first. That's a good sign that you're going to be great when you lead off with this level of material. The defining single of a band that, at times, has been my favorite, why not on the Top 100? Well, I had to make some difficult decisions, and this song just doesn't rock by Aerosmith standards. For a treat, check out the live version where Steven Tyler leads off with, "Good evening, Boston." It's hard to explain, but there's man-crush material there. Lead singer coming home singing their original single. Classic!

Mama Kin - Aerosmith (1973) Video - Another staple off Aerosmith's self-titled debut. This song totally rocks and probably should've made the Top 100. Joe Perry doing his best Keith Richards impersonation. If Guns n' Roses deemed this coverworthy then the song must rock. Steven Tyler once said that every last song of theirs was about sex, so negative points for a potentially twisted oedipian meaning.

Melissa - Allman Brothers Band (1967) Video - The defining Southern Rock band, that's right, Skynyrd fans, with a beautiful, simple love song. Gregg played it for his brother Duane's (who Free Bird was written about) funeral. He also occasionally plays it with Dave Matthews Band live. Negative points for being featured in Brokeback Mountain (read it on Wikipedia, didn't see the movie, ok I saw a little bit of the movie on HBO, but I changed it very quickly).

No Woman, No Cry - Bob Marley & The Wailers (1974) Video - The defining reggae song by the defining reggae artist is best known by its live version released in 1975. Frequently covered, but never improved, this song takes me back to Jamaica, though I've never visited.

One Love - Bob Marley & The Wailers (1977) Video - I don't know Jamaica's national anthem, but it might as well be this song. Nothing puts a boat drink in your hand quite like One Love. The song actually includes an interpolation of a Curtis Mayfield song, "People Get Ready." Video If you want to make a Jamaican smile, throw this on and feel al'right.

Foreplay/Long Time - Boston (1976) Video - This was one of 4-5 songs that began my love affair with rock music. The many styles and transitions are not unlike Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven, except this rocks harder. When I first heard this on the radio, I was so desperate to know who it was that I hummed it to a guitar player at church to see if he could tell me who sung it. He did and I've loved Boston, the most technically sound rock group of all-time, ever since. "Time doesn't wait for me, it keeps on rolling."

Born On The Bayou - Creedence Clearwater Revival (1969)* Video - One of a very short list of songs that my dad and I agree on and the B-Side to "Proud Mary", Video an amazing record in itself, this conjures up images of cruising through Louisiana swampland, which was odd because CCR was from California, but the image stuck. Younger fans were exposed to the genius of CCR on The Waterboy.

Seven Nation Army - The Flaming Lips (2005) Video - An awesome and unique cover of a 2003 White Stripes hit (Video) that is sung through a megaphone into a microphone. What else would you expect from probably the single weirdest band on this list? Surprising fact - they're from Oklahoma. I think that would have been my 51st guess, right after Puerto Rico. They actually only stole the title and basic riff, the words and speed are dramatically altered. If you like the single, don't make the mistake of buying the album Late Night Tales. This is the only Flaming Lips song on it, the rest are crummy DJ mixes, an abomination to rock 'n roll. "I'm goin' to Florida, I'm gonna bowl me a perfect gaaaaaame. I'm goin' to Florida, I'm gonna cut off both my legs." Do they even know what they're talking about?

Yesterdays - Guns N' Roses (1992) Video - One of the best howling Axl Rose tracks, if you're into that (I am) off the megahit Use Your Illusion II, which is far better than Use Your Illusion I. "Suddenly this time I found, I'm on the streets and I'm all alone."

Piece Of My Heart - Janis Joplin (1968) Video - Originally recorded by Emma Franklin (Aretha's older sister) before it was stolen by the louder and whiter Janis (extremely common in those days, see Led Zeppelin/Blues for a more complete guide to plagiarism). Covered awesomely (Video) by Joss Stone and Melissa Etheridge, who subs "man" for "woman" in the line "didn't I make you feel like you were the only man" and then winks and smiles at Joss Stone and shakes her head (2:38 mark). I know, Melissa, Joss Stone IS hot. There are only a few women that can harness the power, passion and primal scream of a Robert Plant/Axl Rose. I've mentioned 3 of them already in this paragraph.

The Wind Cries Mary - Jimi Hendrix (1967) Video - For those who thought Hendrix could only rock, he was also an expert bluesman. The riff was heavily influenced by Curtis Mayfield, of whom Hendrix was a huge fan. I think a lot of younger fans sell themselves short by only listening to 3-4 of Jimi's most well-known hits. His catalogue is deep, varied, and poetic. He essentially crammed an entire careeer's worth of A Material into 4 glorious years with very limited filler. An NBA analogy would be a player leading the league in points, assists, and 3-pt % for his 1st 4 years in the league, then dying in a heroine overdose. Tragic. This man changed music and broke so many racial lines, it's a shame he didn't have more time. Unfortunately, white people have only been able to return the favor with Eminem, which is the

greater tragedy, I think.

Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix - (1967) Video - Another Hendrix original, this song has been covered Eric Clapton (Video), Sting (Video), Stevie Ray Vaughn (Video), and Pearl Jam (Video), a testament to Hendrix's song-writing ability and innovative playing styles. One look at the lyrics can tell you all you need to know about the effects of psychedelic drugs, "Well she's walking through the clouds With a circus mind that's running round Butterflies and zebras And moonbeams and fairy tales That's all she ever thinks about Riding with the wind."

You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban (2002) Video - In 8 years, this song has been covered 125 times. Yes, your church music coordinator has worn it out and no, it does not make a good karaoke song, but it is inspirational and beautiful. Of the versions I've heard, I like Josh Groban the best, but there are 124 other versions if you'd care to take a gander. It shares the melody with Danny Boy.

Nookie - Limp Bizkit (1999) Video - In music lists, sometimes the unintentional neighbors are hilarious, such as "Nookie" and "You Raise Me Up." Beyond it being the best F-U breakup song of all-time, in case she thought you were dating her for her brains, it also represents a high point for an otherwise dry-heave of a band. This is one of those songs that screams "based on a true story." So was this the girl that turned Fred Durst gay? We'll never know because thankfully he hasn't been heard of in several years. One parting thought, this is generally a good song to have on your MP3 player when meeting your girlfriend's parents. Trust me!

Nobody's Fault But Mine - Otis Redding (1968) Video - No relation to the Led Zeppelin song of the same name. This, along with most of his best material (Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay, anyone?) was released after his death in a plane crash at age 26. For someone to be named the King of Soul at such a young age speaks volumes about his ability. This song is particularly underappreciated by the masses, but not by me, it's #1 on my iPod play count list. With 99% certainty, I can guarantee that you don't know this song. That is a travesty! You can't help but shake with the opening chords.

No More Tears - Ozzy Osbourne (1991) Video - An absolutely rockin' track recorded well after Ozzy's prime with Black Sabbath, No More Tears' opening heavy bass line lets you know he's all business with this track. The usual Ozzy creep factor is here, "Your momma told you that you're not supposed to talk to strangers Look in the mirror tell me do you think your life's in danger, ya No More Tears", but Zakk Wylde's guitar work is inscendiary and Ozzy's voice is on full display.

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd (1979) Video - A particular high point on Pink Floyd's most overrated album (The Wall), Comfortably Numb describes the journey of a man into complete insanity, which is exactly how you will feel if you listen to the entire album. Heavily themed albums only work if there's consistently great music, which is why Dark Side of the Moon is the greatest complete album ever made, but The Wall is only as good as its best 5 tracks. The piercing guitar solo at 2:03 is among my favorite moments on any record.

Kiss - Prince (1986) Video - One of the most overtly sexual songs by probably the most overtly sexual artist of all-time. Prince originally wrote the song for a funk band called Mazarati, but after they reworked the song to perfection, he took it back. Sadly, this was sung by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, detracting from the overall sex appeal, but it still rocks. What 80s chick could resist these lyrics? "You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on I just need your body baby From dusk till dawn."

Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (1992) Video - Hard to believe this song is almost 20 years old and still the high point for the Peppers. Anthony Kiedis wrote the lyrics to describe his feelings of loneliness and despondency associated with his dependence on narcotics and the overall affect on his life. Initially, it was intended to be a solo project, but the band begged him to record it with them.

Jungle Love - Steve Miller Band (1977)* Video - The only rock song I know of to use the word the 'papaya', all you need to know about this song is summed up with these lyrics, "Jungle love in the surf in the pouring rain Everything's better when wet." Steve Miller Band's high points may not rank with the best of all-time, but they have a deep catalogue of enjoyable, energetic late 70s rock. They're also an absolutely fantastic live act.

Burning Down the House - Talking Heads (1983) Video - Extra points awarded for songs featured in Revenge of the Nerds. It's also

frequently covered by Dave Matthews Band (Video). If you were throwing an 80s kegger, this song

was bumpin' and I'm not mad at you if you throw it on today. A rare 80s pop song that ages

like wine.

Possum Kingdom - The Toadies (1994) Video - The song that so urgently asks the question, "Do you waaaaaannnnnaaaaa diiiiiiiiiiiiie? The Toadies may not be viewed on the same plane as their other early 90s counterparts, but this song is easily top-10 material for the era. The lyrics have a delicious and honest creepiness "I'm not gonna lie I'll not be a gentleman Behind the boathouse I'll show you my dark secret." Thank you, Mr. Toad, but I'll have to politely decline your offer of a walk around the lake tonight, but I'll gladly blast this song with regularity in my cubicle.

One - U2 (1991)* Video - I imagine Bono fighting with or getting dumped by a girl in this song and being really whiny about it, but the lyrics are truly beautiful, "You gave me nothing Now it's all I got We're one But we're not the same Well we Hurt each other Then we do it again." You feel the hurt of two people, in love, but unable to coexist. It's beautiful, but I still think Bono is a tool.

You Don't Know What Love Is - The White Stripes (2007) Video - This former couple, Jack and Meg White, produce simple pounding rock music. As they have mostly toiled in the underground scene, many music fans are just starting to appreciate their catalogue. Their best album is Elephant, but their best moments are evenly scattered across the whole discography. This is one of their more advanced pieces, bringing a heavily Zeppelinish sound. I suspect that Jack wrote this song to Meg as a final frustrated message directed at Meg's emotional immaturity and their failed romance a la Fleetwood Mac's Rumours album. "You don't know what love is You do as you're told Just as a child at ten might act But you're far too old You're not hopeless or helpless and I hate to sound cold But you dont know what love is...You just do as you're told."

Tune in tomorrow for No. 100!

Lessons Learned, Lips Burned

I think if I could have one superpower, it would be to learn things simply by being told them, not by experiencing the agony of a very, very wrong choice for myself.

I was a sophomore at college and had lots to learn about women. I had one girlfriend my freshman year...........for 3 weeks. My old man probably thought he'd prepared me adequately, but he probably also thought he understood women, so he was generally delusional. In all of his stories, the women were all 10s and chased him like ants at a picnic, while he remained cool. Those stories and James Bond failed to prepare me for the intricacies of the female brain.

Lisa had never really been off the farm, but she had a lot of enthusiasm for life, which made dating her fun. We hit it off quickly, but dated for a month before she'd agree to be my girlfriend. However, after meeting her folks and getting their approval, I was in! Her folks loved that I'd also grown up on a farm and I called her dad "sir" and that was pretty much all I had to do.

We were inseparable for a few weeks. I'd take her cruising in my convertible Mustang GT and she'd come to my city league basketball games. She was 5'9'' with a rockin' 19-year-old body. For the first time in my life I was smitten AND dating. I couldn't believe she was my girlfriend.

I wish I could've pointed to some extremely smooth move I'd pulled in rendering her affection, but it happened by chance. I took Mindy, who my friend also liked, on a science club camping trip. My plan was to cuddle up to her around the campfire. However, I came down with a cold early in the evening and went to bed early. My friend (some friend he was) swooped in and executed my plan to perfection on Mindy. They ended up dating for 5 years. While this was taking place, I was awakened by several freshman girls collapsing my tent on me and laughing hysterically. I was angered, but softened my stance when I met the primary perpetrator, Lisa.

After a few weeks of blissful dating, she sat with her head in my lap in my convertible Mustang GT on a Thursday night and asked a question that should never be asked by anyone. "Is there anything you would change about me?"

I don't want to place all the blame for my emotional shortcomings at my parents' feet, but at age 20 I was still strongly influenced by my parents. Their ideals had left an indelible impression on me. They were extremely critical of potential mates for my siblings and I with a list of things that should be present or absent in a future in-law of theirs that was a mile long and light-years deep. I had not yet learned to differentiate between defects of character and mild annoyances. I also believed in brutal, unfiltered honesty.

I wish that I had just lied, that I'd taken a softer stance on honesty and put that on the back burner while I fulfilled the more noble aim of withholding emotional trauma from a young girl, but alas it wouldn't be a story if that were the case. Crises averted seldom make headlines.

The thing is, there WAS something that bothered me. It was eating away at me for the full 8 weeks of our relationship. It was easily fixable, had nothing to do with her core character, and therefore seemed like something that she would embrace as constructive criticism. She would change, be thankful for the honest feedback, and would go on her merry way an improved and enlightened individual.

So I said it,

Me: "Babe, you know how sometimes you get a little hair on your upper lip?"

Lisa: "What?"

Me: "You know how you get a little hair right here (touching her upper lip as if to prove the point)?"

Lisa: "You're saying I have a moustache?"

Me: "No, oh no, just, you know, a little hair there."

Lisa" "I...I'm leaving."

Now here again, had things gone differently, it still wouldn't be much of a story, but it got worse. Lisa attended a Thursday night prayer group. When it was time for prayer requests, she relayed our recent conversation verbatim to the group of horrified freshmen girls.

Once again, if the story stops there, then it's not that much of a story. Getting past a couple friends isn't usually a problem because 19-year-old girls will sell out someone close to them in a heartbeat if they suspect he's someone they'd like to marry. However, the communication chain DIDN’T stop there.

The prayer group called her brother, Derek, and told him all about his baby sister’s boyfriend. Derek immediately called her parents, relaying the conversation verbatim. I went from golden boy to just above a sex offender in her mind, her friends' minds, her brother's mind, and her parents' minds. It was a relationship atomic bomb somewhat comparable to impregnating her baby sister.

She called to tell me what happened. I had expected to make some colossal dating errors, but this far surpassed even my expectations.

It took a lot of convincing for her to meet me face-to-face and when I saw her, I immediately knew why. Along her upper lip was a trail of blisters. She'd taken my words to heart and, not having used wax before, heated it too hot, scarring her upper lip. So now I was responsible for not only wounding her emotionally, but also disfiguring her physically. I felt like utter garbage, but refused to give up hope. I convinced her to go out with me one last time, bringing a dozen roses with me, which brought tears to her eyes as I pleaded for another chance. She accepted! I was back in. Her friends, brother, and parents refused to speak to her because of the decision and she still took me back.

This could have been the start of a fiery romance, but it was not meant to be. After 2 weeks of fighting, I went to pick her up for a Friday night date when she told me her brother wanted me to come over for a talk. I suppose if Lisa and I had been getting along I would've gone through the torture, but given the circumstances, I wasn't about to go over to his house. I broke up with her on the spot, hoping to never cross paths with anyone in her family again.

Fast-forward 2 years. I'm in the office of a wealthy real estate developer who I'm interviewing for a class project, but hope to parlay into a job as we seem to have hit it off and he's on the board at my college. After a thoroughly enjoyable 45-minute conversation, I prepare to leave with great information and an excellent shot at a job in a few months when he says to me, "Have you met our new salesman Derek?"